What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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