so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -51

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

thumb_up thumb_down -65

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops