My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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