What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

penis. nuff said.

How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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