What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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