Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops