What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops