I Have a Black Friend

I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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