A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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