What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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John Cena for president

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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the sky is green no it is not

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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