Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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