There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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A young baby died.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops