Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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