One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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