What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops