Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops