How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

Your face is hilarious.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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