A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Indians

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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