Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

Detroit has a low crime rate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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