A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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deez nuts

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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