Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

What's the difference between a duck?

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

noah is a scrub jungle

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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