why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops