Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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