wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Male leadership.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops