Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where's the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops