If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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._____________________. Whale!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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