roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops