2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Your adopted

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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