Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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