An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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a man checks his mypsace

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops