I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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I'm so punny.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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