What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops