This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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a man checks his mypsace

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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