Good job, son.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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a. why? b. because

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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