whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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42

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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