Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman walked out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

so today i took a poop. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops