When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops