Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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69

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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What does? 42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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