Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Burp

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

Good job, son.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...