Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops