A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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NEVER

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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