Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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