Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Gay rights.

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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