A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

Gay rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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