Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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