Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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