Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

like if your cool

I asked her where you were.

Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

HOLY COW!

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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