What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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