Knock, knock. Door opened.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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