Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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8

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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