- Anti Joke

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

Sixty... eight

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt