a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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=3

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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