A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Jewwy Jewstein

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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poo

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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