What would u like to drink?

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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