What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops