Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops